A Friendship...

Breathe in a moment.
Turn around and take a glance.
There's no time for second chances.
Live your life with eyes open.
Wake up every morning.
& praise the one who keeps you alive.
By and By.
Problems come and problems go.
But you'll be ok just to know.
That there's a purpose in living here.
People come and people go.
But you can't seem to forget what held your soul.
I use to wake to darkness.
& had the feeling of not being able to go on.
Your still someone I love.
But my faith in God is strong.
That he will give me growth from something amazing.
I once held and had.
I don't hate you or what you did.
No ones to blame.
& you are still the same.
But its buried beneath, until you dig.
You're one of my best friends.
I just hope you realize what I'm trying to mend.
That friendship we once had.
I guess what I'm trying to say.
Is that I miss the way.
We use to talk.
How we would lift each other up.
When we were both down and off track.
But it's ok.
I'm still here for whenever you need.
That comfort from a friend.
Who knows you inside and out.
That's what all of this is about.

Feelings...

I'm going numb.
I'm blacking out.
Here I am with all this doubt.
I try.
But fail.
Can't you tell.
You left this girl in pieces.
As this friendship ceases.
& you don't even care.
Do you even remember what we shared.
You used me all up.
Was I ever enough?
To be the girl you wanted.
Now your the one not talking to me.
Blaming me for your misery.
Well I blame you.
For everything you put me through.
I'm not silenced anymore.
I once was everything you adored.
Now I'm thrown to the side.
Because of all of your lies.
I was the one on my knees begging for you to forgive me.
What did I ever do to you?
Was it because I loved you.
Was it because I actually cared enough to be there.
I'm still there.
For someone who throws me out.
Making me feel pathetic and weak.
I have so much anger and so much doubt.
There's so much pain.
That I can't let out.
Because everyone thinks I'm in the wrong.
That I should just move on.
Well I know you have.
Talking about her makes you glad.
Well think of me.
The times when you couldn't wait to see me.
The times when you held me.
When you kissed me.
Roses and rain.
Candles and shame.
Smiles at midnight.
Our playful games.
Our hearts that nobody could tame.
You are cold.
& I'm sold.
To the state I was left in.
I don't want the pity stares.
That is something I cannot bare.
I don't care if you know how I feel.
Because this is how you sealed the deal.
But don't worry about me.
I'm gone, & you won't have to see.
These tears that are cried for thee.
One last question I desire.
Did you really ever deeply love me?

I'm back:)...

Well I'm back from my very long week in Anderson. I wasn't very excited about going.. but I am so glad that I went. It was such an amazing experience. Before I went I had so much on my heart and had so many trapped emotions about everything and when I went I confronted all of it. I even bonded with some people that I usually am not that close to. The theme of camp this year was "The Attitude of Christ".

*Remember the height of which you fall*....If you once had an amazing relationship with God than you still have a chance to grab what you had.

*It's all about your choices* ..... Ultimately if you sow good things (knowing the word..etc..) it will pay off spiritually later.

*There are two sides you can be on* ..... Doing well? -What the world thinks of success.
Well doing? - Obedience to what God has planned for you.

I think that so many christians walk around thinking that being a christian is a part of your life. Like that it's one of you categories that makes you who you are. But in all reality being a christian is your life. You should base everything you do around Christ. Because your purpose is not to just believe and walk around repenting all the time. You need to wake up and do something for God. My camp pastor made a really good point one night at worship. He said everyone says that we(teenagers) are the future of the church. We are not the future, we are the church also. We don't need to wait till we are eighteen and start doing things for God. We can do them right now because that is what are purpose is. None of the things that we do right now for ourselves is going to matter. One night I was laying in my bed getting ready to read my bible and I had no idea what I should read. So I prayed and just asked God to lead me to wherever it is that he wants me to go. I flipped open my bible and right in front of my eyes was 1 Timothy 4:12-16.


"Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you."

That right there tells us that we as teenagers can make a difference. We can be passionate now so that later we can save ourselves and others.

I learned so much more than this but this was just a little bit I could think of right now. So if you want to know anymore about my trip.. just leave me a comment and ask:)