Feelings...

I'm going numb.
I'm blacking out.
Here I am with all this doubt.
I try.
But fail.
Can't you tell.
You left this girl in pieces.
As this friendship ceases.
& you don't even care.
Do you even remember what we shared.
You used me all up.
Was I ever enough?
To be the girl you wanted.
Now your the one not talking to me.
Blaming me for your misery.
Well I blame you.
For everything you put me through.
I'm not silenced anymore.
I once was everything you adored.
Now I'm thrown to the side.
Because of all of your lies.
I was the one on my knees begging for you to forgive me.
What did I ever do to you?
Was it because I loved you.
Was it because I actually cared enough to be there.
I'm still there.
For someone who throws me out.
Making me feel pathetic and weak.
I have so much anger and so much doubt.
There's so much pain.
That I can't let out.
Because everyone thinks I'm in the wrong.
That I should just move on.
Well I know you have.
Talking about her makes you glad.
Well think of me.
The times when you couldn't wait to see me.
The times when you held me.
When you kissed me.
Roses and rain.
Candles and shame.
Smiles at midnight.
Our playful games.
Our hearts that nobody could tame.
You are cold.
& I'm sold.
To the state I was left in.
I don't want the pity stares.
That is something I cannot bare.
I don't care if you know how I feel.
Because this is how you sealed the deal.
But don't worry about me.
I'm gone, & you won't have to see.
These tears that are cried for thee.
One last question I desire.
Did you really ever deeply love me?