In a Romantic Fashion I will Experiment my Fear...

Monday, May 22, 2006

Smell the Roses....

Wake up.
Smell the roses.
This world is not a pocket full of poises.
Yes, we all fall down.
That is how this mindless world goes around.
Can you not hear the sounds?
Of the billions of people walking around.
Slamming their useless words about.
Taking brillant, caring peoples' hearts out.
The truth hidden under a massive pile of lies.
Awaiting death in disguise.
How do you feel knowing what is to come?
For you are the chosen one.
With words left unsaid, You know what is to be done.
Your journey has just begun.


Something that I wrote for English a while back.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Brokenness leads to Wholeness

There is always that time in your life when you stray away from God knowingly. You wish to not acknowledge that you are doing wrong and not living the life you should be living for God. You think how things are going just fine without him and everything that you wanted is all that you need. Soon after you start wandering down a path that feels like its taking you nowhere and the things that you have don't really mean that much to you. You begin to get down about a lot of things and feel as if nothing matters anymore. Everything all pours down on you at once and you are soaked with questions about how you got to this place in your life. Well you got there because you thought the life you had in mind was perfect and God's plan for you was just ridiculous. You thought how am I suppose to have a great life if everything in it isn't what I wanted? Well you can have a great life with the things that God supplies you with. You may not know it yet but everything in your life is put there for a reason. The people in it are there to help you live a life of meaning and you are to help them. But being in the state you are in isn't a bad thing. For me it was a point when I realized that I have nothing without God. Even with friends, family, and a boyfriend everything seemed like nothing and those relationships in turn felt meaningless. That point led my thoughts to how much I am missing without God. It turned me to want to serve God more and make me feel like I was doing something worth doing. Sometimes I will get a thought about how meaningless everything I am doing was and how it felt like I couldn't connect with anyone anymore. I felt as if maybe I'm not the person I use to be and how can anyone that I have relationships with like that I've changed. It hit me right there, I'm losing all that use to be good because I've tried my own pathway searching for happiness in things that won't give you it. Instead it gives you a life of worry and doubt. With God you don't have worry and doubt about your relationship with him... because he is the one that will always be there for you. The one who will pick you up when you fall. The one who will promise you eternity when others cannot. He is there when you are broke down from other relationships. Yes, people are helping to.. but you cannot put your confidence in people because they will fail you in this life. God is the only certian thing you have in this life and if you give all that you have to him, he will bless you with real lasting relationships. I'm not saying that everything will always be great or even good for that matter. Sometimes things will go wrong but those are the trials that if overcome will make you grow in a way never imagined. Actually having times in your life when everything goes wrong is good. It is good because after you see the brokenness that has been created you realize that the only thing whole is God and your relationship with him. After you reach that point in your life you find that to have great relationships where you can talk and have meaningful conversations you need to have God as the center of any relationship. It's sometimes so hard to give in to letting God take the wheel and you just sitting back to see where he is taking you. You realize that you are not the best driver of your life and you'll probally crash alot. But with God in control and just handing him your life you feel as if the purpose to your life is to life for him only and you have a desire so passionate that you just want to serve him and let others in on a great life that leads to everlasting life in God's kingdom. I'm at that point in my life.. now that I am broken I see what I need to be whole is God. With this new attitude I can have meaningful relationships,with God showing through every aspect of my life.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Intervals of Time....

In this brief, indefinite interval of time.
Mysteries are revealed in your deep eyes.
Fantasies released from imprisonment.
A mural-like painting engraved, so close to touch.
Feelings that can never be quenched.

A period of life.
That will never be abandoned.
A piece of your heart.
That no matter how much you try to bury.
Will always be there.
Deep down awakening the very soul.


Thoughts emerging.
Quickening the rates of hearts.
Imagining a time when it's fine.
The day that it is finally off my mind.

But although out of thoughts.
It comes on the beat of your heart.
The essence of your life.

And in intervals of time.
You see.
Me.
And I.
See you.

We grasp hands.
& walk along like we use to.
Everything is ok.
Everything is alright.
But in those intervals of time.
It's black and white.
Me and you.
Together.
Tonight.